do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
