I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
