Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
