Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Oh god it's open bar.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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