There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
