As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
