i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
this beer tastes like vomit already
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
