I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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