I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
