Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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