in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
