OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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