he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
