I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
