Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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