Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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