well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
