So drunk, too bad you don't want this
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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