It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i believe in u and ur pee
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
