I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
