We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
