I can text with my tongue
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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