dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
