just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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