dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
