This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
