Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
