i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
