so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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