I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize