Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
