For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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