Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
