Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
soo... how was my night?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
