wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
and you fell through a lawn chair
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
