she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
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