Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
