living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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