dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
