Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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