nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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