so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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