I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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