Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize