She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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