And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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