The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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