like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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