Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
