Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
