Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
