It's like God shit irony all over that family
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize