I need help removing her.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
