There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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