I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
