Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
