He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
