3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
