Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
