I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
