they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize