Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
