I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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