So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Shame - the story of my life.
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