no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
